So, in the course of my daily business, I ended up pleasantly chatting with a gal who happens to be a freelance lady of the night.
Lady of the night? What a euphemism (or would it be “an euphemism”) Actually, she was more or less a lady of both day and night time. And with the magic of Craigslist, a lady of anytime, and almost anywhere.
In any case, she uttered something that floored me, with my polite boughi middle class sheltered values.
“You know, if a guy tricks with you 4 times, that means he’s your boyfriend.”
Um… say what?
B.K., in his immense earthly wisdom, once mentioned something similar in a conversation. Something he picked up on the streets. I figured he was kidding, or describing a limited phenomena. So curious, and somewhat appalled, I consulted others, and just for giggles, figuring I’d get it from the horse’s proverbial mouth, subsequently confirmed this with yet another Professional Lady.
‘Tis true, it seems. I suspect that this is a unique cultural trait, in certain milieus, in Cincinnati. If a man tricks with (to be defined as procuring professional services of an intimate nature) a prostitute of a certain age more than 4 times, and she happens to find him cute, or actually likes him, then she basically regards him as her boyfriend, with all the rights, responsibilities, privileges, and sheer pains in the arse, thereunto.
Let us say that he knocks her up. Great, instant unstable baby momma/baby daddy drama will ensue out of a relationship initially established on… a rocky basis.
Bill Cosby, with his crotchety old self, would have volumes to say about this.
Suffice to say, this only adds to my list of many reasons – beyond simple principle and scruples – behind my refusal to pay for sex, as well as my polite refusal to take up such professionals up on the occasional (highly flattering) no strings attached offers. (and it is flattering to be offered free loving by someone who makes a paid profession of the same..)
There is no such thing as no strings attached sex. In particular from a sexual professional, whose cultural code dictates 4 couplings as indicating your automatic status as her boyfriend.
Firstly, the phrase “no, you cannot stay over, I have to work early” is at once robbed of its efficacy. Not to mention the usual occupational hazards best summed under the phrase “when you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they’ve ever slept with..” If this list is over two baker’s dozens, then one has legitimate reasons for concern.
There is no judgment of either a girl’s character, or the character of the guy she tricks with, in all of this. Only simple observations. Some paths in life lead to drama of an unpleasant nature. Some paths in life are downright perilous, and there are possibly a sane reasons in the world for the existence of paternity tests. Figuring out whose child is whose when one services a wide clientele is difficult.
You have been warned.