..the sort of polite civility between former “friends” that masks a desire for an utter indifference towards you.
It’s mixed with awkwardness and discomfort.
Is it better to be utterly rude, than distantly and awkwardly polite and friendly towards those whose company you no longer desire?
There is the matter of “getting the hint” but could brute and blunt honesty be preferable?
Politeness saves face for the polite one, whilst the receiver of the politeness may not understand the oh-so subtle message.
Is it better to crush someone’s feelings with a “I don’t really care for your company anymore. Sorry.” than seven veils of polite distant friendliness that means the same thing?
I do not have the answer to this, I only know that distant politeness between former acquaintances and “friends” is exceedingly annoying and inspires in me a sort of disdain towards the polite one.
This is different than the awkwardness between people who still like and have some regard for each other but have just been separated by circumstances to the point that no deep communication is possible when they meet again. So there is small talk, and niceties, and the aching feeling of wanting to say more of substance but awkwardly not being able to. So we fall into polite chit chat before parting.
This is different.
But when one party has a real and honest aversion to the other, just deliver the merciful coup de grace and let the axe fall. Bluntly. You may be labeled a bitch, but your ego will recover. Both parties will be better off for it in the end, and you would have gained a great deal more inner personal power.
My gripe of the day.
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LOL. I hear ya. Loud and clear. For what it’s worth I’m not apathetic about your existence. 🙂
Why thank you.
And far from it for me to be apathetic about the existence of Yoda’s one and only mistress.
🙂
This topic has nagged at me a bit. I do know that life and commitments spin people all over the place. Time and life saps many friendships. I know that I’m often known as a bit of a flake myself. What I don’t get is when people have a clear aversion to someone, for some reason, but actually fail to make it clear in social settings, instead just piling niceties and politeness on top of things. I used to have one “friend” who actually admitted me, in a candid moment (I think she was a bit tipsy at the time), that she’s usually exceedingly polite to people she wants nothing to do with, sort of as a shield.
Lo and behold about a year latter I ended up getting a dose of her politeness, and quickly got the hint. It was totally different from her ordinary nice behavior. I just excused myself and wandered elsewhere to mingle with other.
On the side, how’s the G doing? I miss the guy. Give him my regards.